Why am I writing a blog?

I'm notoriously bad at being consistent with journaling, but something about this phase in my life is calling me to document it. Becoming a mother has been my ultimate goal for as long as I can recall, and now I'm finally achieving it. There's something magical happening and I don't ever want to forget it. Seeing the positive pregnancy test after so many months of disappointment. 9 weeks of all-day sickness (morning sickness is the biggest lie ever). Hearing the heartbeat for the first time - a perfect 136 bpm. Sharing the news with our friends and family. Feeling the first subtle movements - like a paintbrush gently stroking the inside of my belly. I want to record each precious moment so that, someday, my baby will know how special s/he really is. My path to becoming a mother has had some bumps, but I know that it will all be more than worth it.

Thoughts on one of the most important days in my life

Today is the 5 year anniversary of when I first knew I wanted to have a family with Ben. It was the day of my high school graduation, the day he was checked into the hospital to have his first surgery - a liver biopsy, the day my naive invincible teenage attitude ended. I remember feeling that need to have some permanent tangible piece of him, in case he didn't make it. Many people may have thought we were young to get married, young to become parents, young for all we will face together, but I have never doubted what I've known in my heart for the last 5 years. The odds were not in our favor, yet here we are. Now I have him and his baby is growing safely within my belly. This is what I am meant to do. We are so blessed.

(This is a picture of Ben and I during the summer after my graduation, the summer of chemo)